lead thou me on.

 

Happy Monday! Did you have a good weekend? I sure did. I turned the big ol’ 2-3, got a massage, had a party, and ate cake. But more on that later. For now, I’m going to get a little spiritual on ya, so I hope that’s okay.

On Saturday morning, my stake held an amazing Women’s Conference. Everything about it was just perfect. I got to spend time with some great girls and listen to some incredible speakers. But, what stuck out to me the most was the closing hymn, “Lead, Kindly Light.” Have you ever read the words? I don’t think I really had until that day. But it was one of those tender mercies that I needed right then and there.

Sharing time: I’m at a bit of a strange point right now. I’m done with school, and I have a great job and internship. But…are they what I should be doing? I have friends who are graduating and moving away, and for a little while I toyed with the idea of doing the same. But I’ve never really had a strong feeling that that was what I needed to do, and that scared me. I’m the kind of person who likes to have plans. And…right now I don’t. Let me tell you, it’s left me feeling a little bit stressed.

But the words to this hymn have changed my outlook. It’s okay that for right now I don’t know what I should be doing. I’ve been wanting for so long to see the outcome of my life, but the point is that I’m not supposed to! “I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou should lead me on. I loved to choose and see my path, but now, lead Thou me on.” I have to take a step at a time and let Heavenly Father show me. I need to stop telling him how my life should be and instead let him show me what it really is and will be. “Keep Thou my feet, I do not ask to see the distant scene. One step enough for me.”

Isn’t that beautiful? So even though I don’t know what my future is, I know it’s okay to take it one step at a time. If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that Heavenly Father doesn’t EVER leave us alone. It sure might feel like it sometimes, but He’s always there, revealing bits and pieces of the puzzle as we go. Sometimes those bits and pieces include stop signs, speed-bumps, and maybe a ditch or two, but the point is to keep going. I can’t sit and wait for good things to happen. Good things are happening right now! I just need to choose to see them.

Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time listening to my favorite Church talks. One of them is called “An High Priest of Good Things to Come” by Jeffrey R. Holland. While recounting a story from his past, he says he wishes he could have told himself then, “Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

So, moral of this long story is, that’s what I need to do. Stop getting frustrated with myself, and let the Lord lead me on. Because I promise, he will. As scary or uncomfortable as it might seem, he will.