a letter to my girl.

The other day as I was shopping, I overheard a mother tell her teenage daughter that she {the daughter} was "too chunky." This broke my heart. To a girl, her mother is the most important person in her life, the person she aspires to be, who she aims to please, who she wants to make proud. So when a mother openly points out a flaw in a way that breaks the daughter down, it's no wonder that we have so many girls who question who they are, how they were made, and what they can do.

I know I'm no mother, but that small comment had me thinking a lot today. I might have kiddos someday, and I might have a girl. What would I want her to know? Having been through teenagedom myself, what can I tell her now that I might forget in 20 years?

Dear Daughter,

I know I haven't met you yet, but I love you already. There's something special about little girls, and I think it's their innocence. I hope that that isn't taken away from you too soon. Today the world seems to teach us that innocence is a bad thing, but I disagree. Innocence keeps you pure. Some people think innocence is ignorance, but it's not. Innocence to me is being aware of what goes on around you, but keeping yourself from getting involved in what you shouldn't. I hope that you never have a desire to lose your innocence. Because once it's gone, you can't get it back.

I hope that as you get older, you never lose sight of who you are. You are so, so loved, and I hope you remember that you come from a line that consists of many strong women. My mom and my sister are two women who I look up to. Smart, successful, and driven, these are women who work hard for what they get. They are secure in who they are, and I hope that's something you inherit.

Please don't think that you have to fit a certain mold. Too many girls today, myself included, have an idea of what they should be: tall, thin, wealthy, beautiful, powerful, with a perfect home, a perfect wardrobe, a perfect family life. Sometimes we don't fit all those molds. I hope that you create your own mold, a mold that fits who you are perfectly.

I hope that I can teach you to be independent. One of the things that I've learned recently is that you need to know how to rely on yourself. Sometimes people will let you down, and that can be disappointing. But if you know how to take care of you, you will be so much happier.

On the flipside of that, don't be afraid to ask for help. Your mom is stubborn, and asking for help has always been hard for her. ;) But I've learned over the last year that people do want to help, and I need to let them. So know when you can't do something on your own anymore, and ask for help. If you have spent your life being kind to others, they will line up to give you a hand.

Be consistent. I hope that you don't change yourself for a boy, for a group you want to fit into, or for anyone else. If people don't accept you for what you bring to the table, they aren't worth your time.

Always tell the truth. All lying does is get you into trouble. And people have an easier time picking up on lies than you might think. Life will be so much easier, and it will be easier to gain the trust of others, when you are honest.

Be a good friend, especially once you move away from home. There will come times in your life when you need someone, and I won't be near you. If you've been a good friend to others, they'll be the same in return. Also, on a side note, when you're dating someone, maintain your friendships! It can be easy to forget about friends when you're wrapped up in a relationship, but you will still need those people in your life, I promise. Don't forget about them, and don't let them forget about you.

The biggest thing I want to tell you is that sometimes life doesn't work out exactly how we plan, and that's okay. Your mom has had so many plans that didn't seem to work out quite the way she wanted them to, but she's learning. ;) The biggest thing I've learned is that usually, things work out better than we've planned. We just need to be patient and let everything unfold.

I have so much more that I'm excited to teach you someday, but the things I've mentioned are, in my opinion, the most important. Be kind, be funny, lend a helping hand, and you'll do just fine. If you end up anything like me, it might take you a few bumps in the road to learn these things, but sometimes God just has a way of working on us stubborn ones. When we refuse to learn something, he keeps teaching us until we get the message!

Can't wait until you get here someday.

Your impatient, stubborn, silly, restless mom


  1. Love this! Such a sweet thing to write to your daughter.

  2. This is so lovely and a great idea. Wonderful post and blog xoxo