a series of lasts.

Today was my last full day in Provo, so I thought it would be fun to take my overly-packed car and drive around, just to see a few of my favorite spots one more time. You know, "this is that place I had my car repaired after my accident." "This is where I ate dinner on that really awkward date." "This is were I had that great conversation with an old friend." "This is where I had my first job." But I also realized that today was a series of lasts. This is the last time I'll eat at this place, this is my last day of work, this is the last time I'll see these people. And it's really sad! I never thought I'd say it, but Provo really was my home for the last few years. It's where my life has been, where my people have been, where many of the most important things in my life have been.

This series of lasts had my heart breaking a little bit as I drove down the familiar University Avenue, and as I crossed over Bulldog and State Street. "Hey! That's the DI where I bought WAY too many bad 80s clothes and ugly Christmas sweaters." I know I've complained about this place a lot, as many college students do, and I know that leaving is the right thing for me, but it's still tough to say goodbye. As a big book nerd, I love chapters {true fact: I once wrote an English essay on the symbolism and significance of chapters}. I love the plot twists, the cliff hangers, the changes that the end of each chapter brings. I don't know if my Provo/BYU chapter ends on a cliffhanger. I think it ends on a good note. It was a chapter that had some ups and downs, a few big plot twists, and some changes, but I feel like it's ending with everything tied together. No loose ends. Sometimes those aren't the most exciting chapters, but for me it was definitely one that caused me to learn a lot. I mean a lot. I went from an immature, unexperienced 18 year old to a somewhat {hopefully} more mature, somewhat more experienced 24 year old, and for me, that's enough. If I had to title this chapter, I think I would call it "Holy Ground." {NOT to be confused with the Taylor Swift song, that phrase has been around much longer than she has}. It really was for me.

As I was thinking about all these "lasts," I realized that, on that highway ahead of me, I'll have some "firsts." One of my favorite things about babies is watching them experience "firsts." A first step, a first smile, a first laugh. I think we forget that as we grow older, we still have those. And that's the one thing that's really keeping me from breaking down with this move. Along with these "lasts," I have some "firsts" to look forward to. My first day at my new job out there, first time meeting new people, etc. And that's something exciting to look forward to. If I have to name this new chapter, I think I'll steal my sister's word for the year and call it "Onward."

So this whole thing is a little scary, and a lot exciting. As an old chapter closed today, a new one opens tomorrow, and I can't wait to see the plot twists that it holds for me.

As always, thanks for reading.