in review: 2013.

Oh man. When it comes to New Years I'm the sappiest of the saps. I might as well have the word "nostalgic" written across my forehead because, during the week between Christmas and New Years, I tend to do a lot of reminiscing. I reflect on the good stuff, the hard stuff, the things I did well, the things I can improve on in the next year, etc. But a whole post about that is coming tomorrow. Today is all about happy memories!

So without further ado, and before I burst into tears about another year ending, here are my top ten moments of 2013:

10. Visiting Denver and Breckenridge, Colorado. What a beautiful state! Denver pretty much captured my heart in a way only a few cities have. And I spent the trip with the best people, so, bonus.

9. My birthday weekend was superb. You only have one golden birthday in your life, so I decided to go all out on mine. Even if that meant sending my roommate to the hospital. 

8. General Conference weekend with my family. In April we all got together to take Devin mission shopping and attend General Conference. It was one of the last times we'd all be together for two years, and it was just a good, good weekend. 

7. John FA-REAKING Mayer. This had been my dreamiest dream, to see him in concert, in my favorite place in the world {who knew that 5 months from then I'd be moving there?}.

6. Going cabining. I love cabins, and I love the Hansens' cabin. S'mores, footie pajamas, and gorgeous nature walks. It was a good weekend.

5. Giving Robin Sparkles a run for her money. This was probably the most serious I'd ever been about having an epic Halloween costume, and I think it paid off. 

4. San Francisco. Guys, two weeks and I'll be living there!!!!! I can never get enough of this city. 

3. A weekend outside. Hiking Timp was one of the most physically challenging things I've ever done, but the payoff was so worth it. Will I hike it again? No. 

2. Christmas with my family. Maybe I'm still feeling the post-Christmas blues, but last week was a good one. 

1. Saying "sayonara" to Elder Justesen. That was a hard day! But to see how he's changed and grown up have been worth it. 

Thanks for the memories, 2013.

See 2012 in review here. 

palo alto.

Drumroll please.........

So my big news is that in two weeks, I'm moving to Palo Alto, California! It's funny, that's actually the place I was born in, and for some reason it seems a little bit ironic that I'm going back. But it just feels right, you know?

For a long time I was terrified of leaving Provo, especially of leaving Provo with that one terrifying word attached to me...single. I honestly never thought I'd see that happen. I fought leaving as long as I could, just to see if maybe someone would come along and erase that word from my mental list of my self-perceived flaws. And while I've dated some incredible guys {and some not-so-incredible, as one does}, it became clear to me that maybe he isn't in Provo. Maybe he is somewhere else. And after some time, I came to accept that idea and be okay with it. Maybe I wouldn't have that "fairytale" BYU wedding that you always hear about growing up, the one that I was so sure would happen for me when I entered Helaman Halls six years ago.

And you know what? It's fine. I'm going to be okay. And if you made the leap like I'm about to, you'll be just fine, too.

I've learned that when we're doing what feels right to us, things generally fall into place. I decided a month or so ago that the Bay Area is where I want to be, and everything seemed to take care of itself after that. I found a great house with some great girls, my contract here sold, I've got some potential jobs lined up. For the last year or so I'd been fighting this feeling that NOTHING was working in my favor, so it was so refreshing to see things happen the way I needed them to.

Tonight I went through some things I've saved over my years at BYU and in Provo, and they brought a smile to my face and a few tears to my eyes. Yes, it's been hard, but this chapter of my life has been amazing. I've met some of the best people I know, I gained an invaluable education, I've grown up. Hours and hours of studying for finals, road trips, late night Slurpee runs, all of those memories will be carefully tucked away in a safe corner of my brain, and I'm sure will influence the next part of my life.

So here's to new adventures, in a new place, with a new job, and with new people. And most importantly, here's to warmer weather, am I right?

So folks, I'll try to keep up regular posts here but with Christmas and moving it might be a little tough. But thanks for reading! The comments I get mean the world to me. I always hope that this little space might help someone who feels like no one understands them or gets how they feel, or someone who needs a bit of a laugh. I'll be here for you as much as I can.

Have a very merry, safe, beautiful Christmas!

i love my siblings, but i like being the only kid.

Have I told you how much I love San Francisco? It's the city that makes me feel most at home. I got to spend the day there doing a little bit of shopping with my parents when I went home last weekend. And San Francisco at Christmas OHMYGOSH!!!

We happened to be at Union Square the day they put up the Christmas tree, and it was magical, I tell ya. And with 70 degrees in the middle of November? I'll take it. I don't know what else to say about this place except that it just feels familiar. 

I was the only kid at home all weekend, and I don't know if that's ever happened to me before. But it was very...quiet. I come from a group of talkers, there is always someone telling a story or a joke. But with just three of us and the cat, it's calm. 

We did some {a lot} of shopping, and I am the proud new owner of a pair of green Hunter boots. !!!!! We ate some great food, lots of Ghirardelli chocolate, saw "Gravity," which is the most stressful movie I've ever seen, and went for Autumn drives. While it's pretty much all dead here in Utah now, California is right in the middle of that yellow and red, crunchy, breezy Fall. 

My dad also taught me how to drive a manual car. I know, I'm 24 and should know that by now. But I didn't and it's okay and now I know. Sort of. That clutch and me, man, we have a hard time getting along. But it's fine. 

All in all, a good, much-needed weekend. Thanks for having me, Mom and Dad! And the cat. 

november.

Hello from my 64 ounce Coke, which is where my day is at right now. How are you? You can't see it, but there was a big ol' sugar cookie on my lap that I ate in about 2 and a half bites.

It's only Tuesday and I'm just about ready to get into bed and take a nap straight until Saturday. You know those days where you're going, going, going, and have to stop to remember to breathe? That's how my last three days have been. Being busy suits me, but it's always nice to have a break. And in just a few days I'll be on my way back home to California for the week. Just me, my mom, my dad {lovingly referred to as "The Captain," for those of you who watch HIMYM}, and the cat. A week of San Francisco, Apple Hill, the Galleria Mall, and 70 degrees. My impatient nerves can't wait.

Until then, here are a few things that are getting me through that awkward, sad transition from Fall to Winter:

1. Saturday was THE PERFECT DAY. 65 degrees, yellow, and crunchy. The kind of day that you know is so perfect that you have to hang on for as long as you possibly can because it'll be over all too fast. It felt like the last day of Fall here, I just knew it. So we spent the day at a park, with a pizza and our short sleeves. And I soaked in every last bit.

And on Sunday we woke up to snow, because well, that's how my life works.

2.  Plaid. I'm not quite sure how, but this and this found their way into my closet. What is it about plaid that just says Christmas/hunter/hot chocolate/Brawny man/Fall/Winter/snow/90s grunge all in one? Those are my favorite things.

3. Essie's After School Boy Blazer nail polish. Sometimes when you wear nail polish that looks black but is secretly navy blue, you just feel a little bit BA. And as a girl, I reserve the right to be happy because of a nail polish color.

4. This personality quiz. I'm a sucker for these suckers.  Once you get your results, check this out. I'm an ISFJ and a Neville Longbottom, what are you? At first I didn't know how I felt about being a Neville, but he's still a Gryffindor and he grows up to be a total hottie and a hero, so...that sure sounds good to me!

5. Scandal. My Netflix binge watching has taken a turn from comedies to dramas, and I'm very happy with this one. Once you get past the fact that the President is also the voice of Tarzan, it's fantastic. And makes me realize that I never want to work in politics. The fast-paced dialogue will hook you, I promise. And if you need a laugh from Olivia Pope, here's one.

6. And lastly, Christmas music. I'll be honest with you, I am not a Christmas purist. Christmas doesn't start the day after Thanksgiving, Christmas starts the second you find frost on your car window, or in the case of those of us from warmer climates, the minute it drops below 70 degrees. So for me, last Sunday was the official opening of the Christmas season. I will be happy to recommend some great songs from my playlist, and check out Dave Barnes' new Christmas album while you're at it.

And with that, my rambling is done. The problem with being busy is that there is no time to say the things that are rattling inside your head. So that's what this blog is for.

city kids.

My cool, brave little sister, the one who just does what she wants, up and flew to NYC last night. And she's been Snapchatting me all day from Central Park, St. Patrick's Cathedral, and Grand Central Station. If you could see me right now, I'm pretty sure my face has a bit of jealousy green in it. I've only been lucky enough to spend about 12 hours in New York City, and I've been dying to go back. 

We were the lucky kids who grew up near big cities. Never in one, but always close enough to visit. And I think there's something character-building about that. I remember taking some friends to visit San Francisco for the first time without any parental supervision, and it was my responsibility to navigate the Embarcadero, and Polk Street and Lombard Street, and find my way around. If that doesn't make you feel like a grown-up, I don't know what does! I remember feeling incredibly brave and incredibly terrified at the same time. 

There's something magical about a city. The people are my favorite. If you want to see all walks of life, from the homeless to the ridiculously wealthy, you'll find it in a city. Funny how both those extremes tend to live in the same place, right? 

Someday I think I'd like to live in a city. I got 8 incredible weeks when I lived in London, and I loved every second of it. You're so close to everything and you tend to feel so connected. I love the contrasts: the ugly vs. the beautiful, the loud vs. the quiet, the good smells vs. the bad {because EVERY city has its pockets that smell like bagels and its pockets that smell like trash, right?}. A city is a pure adventure. You can't take it all in in a single day or a week. 

I love the culture you find in a big city. Chinatown and Japantown are two of my favorite places in San Francisco, and in London I loved the Indian influence. A city somehow pockets the whole world in its few miles. Someday when I have kids, I hope I can teach them to appreciate cultures like my parents taught us. I remember being a little girl and visiting the San Francisco Ballet and the Rosicrucian Museum and staring wide-eyed at everything I saw, trying to quickly take it in. I've realized how lucky I was to get those experiences.

So here's to cities, here's to growing up near them, and here's to living in one someday. What's your favorite?

swooning.

This weekend I did a lot of swooning. You know, the weak in the knees, flushed face, perma-smile swooning. I swooned over my favorite music and my favorite city, I swooned over the people and the smells and the views, the kind of swoon that comes from being back home, in a place you love, a place that's yours.

My friend Chrissy and I made the 13 hour trek to the Bay Area, where we met up with my little sister and rushed ourselves to the Shoreline Ampitheatre to see John Freaking Mayer. Say what you will about him, but I will defend his music to the grave. Every girl says she has a Taylor Swift song that she can relate to, but I have a story for every JM song. Slow dancing in a burning room? Check. Edge of desire? I've been on it. Gravity? Do I even need to comment? ANYway, I've wanted to see him in concert since I was 13 years old and bought "Room for Squares," but somehow it's never worked out. But this, this tour I would not miss. I almost did, but thanks to someone upstairs knowing that this has been on my bucket list for almost half my life, I was able to go.

Via

And it was perfect. Everything I hoped it would be. Guys, his lyrics. His LYRICS. So swoon-worthy. "So good you didn't see the nervous wreck I used to be. You'd never know a man could feel so small. And you never look at me like I'm a liability, I bet you think I've never been at all." Right? RIGHT? Taking time off and moving to Montana just to write sure looks good on him.

Can you tell I have a little {massive} crush? Forget writing about it, time for pictures.

Go see him. Just do it.

christmas in this city.

Today we spent the day in San Francisco, and it was so unbelievably perfect I couldn't believe it. This city at Christmas...it's something else. You'll kill me because I'm going to post about a billion photos, but all of the decorations and the music around Union Square just got me feeling so festive-y and Christmas-y that I just couldn't stand it.

We spent a lot of the day hanging out on Russian Hill, where we got pizza {eat at Extreme Pizza and you're welcome}, and browsed some of the stores. I got a little bit obsessed with the Christmas trees but...come on. How can you look at these and not have your heart grow three sizes too big?

DISNEY SOUP CANS!

And now for the tree portion of this post...

Are you sick of me yet? I hate when people say "sorry I'm not sorry" but...it's true. I wish I could just bottle up some of the feelings I felt today {feelings! Normally I don't like feeling feelings!} and pass them to you. I don't think it matters what city you're in, there's just something about them during the holidays. It's pretty darn special. And just to finish off your annoyance with me, I have one more. 

we need a little christmas.

I go home on Wednesday for a week, and I'm going to admit, I'm not sure how much blogging I'm going to get done while I'm there. My mom has pretty much every minute packed with Justesen Christmas Family Fun, and I'm planning on soaking it all up. And with the free time I do have, I'm filling it up by reading "Outliers" and "The Picture of Dorian Gray," as well as eating at all the places you only find out there.

So today I want to write about all things Justesen Family Christmas. I'm really big on traditions. Especially since I've been away at college, there is something so familiar and secure about going home and knowing exactly what will happen. I think it makes Christmas a little bit more magical. The traditions in my family include:

1. Sugar cookies. And chocolate chip cookies, and snickerdoodles and peanut butter cookies. Essentially, cookies everywhere. All the time.

2. The annual trip to San Francisco. S.F. is my favorite city in all the land, and we generally take the hour and a half drive down there a few days before Christmas. The lights at Union Square are beautiful, the trolleys are decorated, and the air is cold, but not too cold. I absolutely love it. And China Town. CHINA TOWN!

3. The Nutcracker. This is one of my favorites. Almost every year, my mom and sister and I go to Sacramento to see the ballet. Whitney and I have both danced in The Nutcracker, and watching it brings back some pretty sweet memories.

4. Christmas movies. Our two favorites are "The Santa Claus" and "The Preacher's Wife." We're also big fans of claymation Rudolph {"she said I'm cuuuuute!!!!!"} and Santa, as well as Burgermeister Meisterburger and the Heat Miser. Just writing about these gets me all sorts of giddy.

5. Looking at lights. We have two places we generally go. Either the neighborhood in downtown Sacramento called the Fab Forties {holy amazing houses, and fun fact: Ronald Reagan lived in this neighborhood}, or the neighborhood near my house that lines every single street with luminaries. I know lots of neighborhoods do that, But I think this neighborhood was one of the originals. Because they've been doing it every year since I was at least 8. We usually get a hot chocolate or five or six at Starbucks while doing this.

6. Chocolate advent calendars. I think I'm on my 23rd advent calendar. Even when we're all away at school, my mom still mails them to us. It's funny how excited I still get to open the little door each day and see what picture is on the chocolate inside.

7. Dad as Santa Claus. This tradition has been retired for about 8 years, but I can guarantee that once the first grandkid hits it'll be back. When my parents were first married, my mom sewed my dad this incredible Santa costume, and when we were growing up he would come visit our elementary school classes. We had to swear we wouldn't tell our classmates who he really was. :)

8. THE TREE. How do you feel about Christmas trees? I love them. Do you know what I love even more? A real tree. We've always had a real tree. One of the best parts of Christmas is packing up your whole family and heading to a tree lot where all six of you get to fight over which tree is the best. :) I'm always partial to the scrawny Charlie Brown trees because I feel bad for them, but no one ever seems to agree with me. Someday when I have my own house I'll have all the Charlie Brown Christmas trees.

9. The Christmas story. Like most families we make sure to do all that we can to keep our focus where it should be on Christmas, and one of my most favorite things is on Christmas eve, after we've eaten our Mexican food for dinner {another tradition}, we sit in our family room as someone reads the story of the Savior's birth. Then we read other Christmas stories, like the one about the Babushka or the little match girl. It's a really special tradition.

I know we have many, many more traditions, but these are the ones that really make it feel like Christmas to me. And there isn't anything much better than that. What traditions do you have, or wish you have?

san francisco.

I realized I never wrote anything about my trip home last month! My roommate Rachel and I took a quick trip to my house and then spent a few days in San Francisco and Palo Alto. It was nice to get out of Provo for a few days and visit some of my favorite places. But here are a few photos of our little roommate bonding adventure and the last official trip of summer: