a letter to my little guy.

I got some really great responses for my last post {thank you!}, so I thought it might be kind of fun to write a letter to any future boys I might have and round out this little series. Granted, I've never been a boy, but I sure have spent a lot of time with them throughout my life, and I'd like to think I've learned a few things in my last 24 years that I'd hope to teach my future boys.

Dear Son,

I know you're not here yet, but I can't wait until you are. Don't tell anyone, but when I grew up babysitting, boys were always my favorite. :) You're all just so fun! I can't wait to spend hours playing catch with you, and kicking around a soccer ball, and reading to you.

As you grow up, there are a few things that I hope I can teach you. First, I want to teach you how to have a sense of humor. My dad and my brothers have great ones, and I hope that's something you inherit, too. You'll find that a sense of humor will allow others to feel comfortable around you, it can diffuse negative situations, and it'll just make you awesome. It's so important to learn that you can't take life too seriously. I hope you learn to have some fun!

I hope that I can teach you how to respect others, especially your elders. There's not enough of that today, and that makes me sad. Older people always have so much wisdom and smarts, and, while you might not want to admit it sometimes {especially when you're an angsty teenager}, they're almost always right. Take it from me, a teenager who had her angsty moments, your parents are right 95% of the time. And just so you know, this isn't my sneaky way of making sure you listen to me someday. I've still got some learning to do before I can tell you that I'm always right. ;) But I hope you listen to your teachers, your parents, your grandparents, and any other good, influential older people you come across in your life.

Along with respecting adults, I want to teach you to respect women. Know that the girls you associate with are just as awesome as you, they're just awesome in different ways. NO ONE is superior in any way. And just a tip, when you start dating, girls will watch how you treat other women, how you talk about them, what you think about them. And nothing is more attractive than a guy who respects us, and nothing is more unattractive than a guy who doesn't. So be aware. ;)

Along this line of respect, I hope I can teach you to respect yourself. Never be too hard on yourself. Life is tough! And sometimes you'll be overwhelmed, but that's okay. I hope you learn to be optimistic and just keep truckin'. Know that you are loved, you are important, and that as long as you don't give up, you'll have a hard time failing.

I hope you love what you do. Whether you decide to be an astronaut, a doctor, a pirate, I hope you're lucky enough to love it. I hope you're passionate about whatever you decide to do with your life. I was lucky to grow up with parents who love what they do, and I saw the benefits that come from that.

I hope I can teach you to be a good friend. If I've learned anything it my life, it's that to have good friends, you have to be one first. So do all that you can to make time for other people, and when you listen, really listen. Because I promise you're going to need people to really listen to you.

Lastly, I hope I can teach you to hang onto your childhood for as long as you can. Too many kids today want to grow up so fast, and I promise that once you do, you sure miss that childhood. I hope your imagination stays with you for a long time, and I hope that you know that it's okay to use it.

I sure love you, Squirt, and I can't wait to meet you someday.

Love,
Your snarky, hardheaded, crazy mom

a letter to my girl.

The other day as I was shopping, I overheard a mother tell her teenage daughter that she {the daughter} was "too chunky." This broke my heart. To a girl, her mother is the most important person in her life, the person she aspires to be, who she aims to please, who she wants to make proud. So when a mother openly points out a flaw in a way that breaks the daughter down, it's no wonder that we have so many girls who question who they are, how they were made, and what they can do.

I know I'm no mother, but that small comment had me thinking a lot today. I might have kiddos someday, and I might have a girl. What would I want her to know? Having been through teenagedom myself, what can I tell her now that I might forget in 20 years?

Dear Daughter,

I know I haven't met you yet, but I love you already. There's something special about little girls, and I think it's their innocence. I hope that that isn't taken away from you too soon. Today the world seems to teach us that innocence is a bad thing, but I disagree. Innocence keeps you pure. Some people think innocence is ignorance, but it's not. Innocence to me is being aware of what goes on around you, but keeping yourself from getting involved in what you shouldn't. I hope that you never have a desire to lose your innocence. Because once it's gone, you can't get it back.

I hope that as you get older, you never lose sight of who you are. You are so, so loved, and I hope you remember that you come from a line that consists of many strong women. My mom and my sister are two women who I look up to. Smart, successful, and driven, these are women who work hard for what they get. They are secure in who they are, and I hope that's something you inherit.

Please don't think that you have to fit a certain mold. Too many girls today, myself included, have an idea of what they should be: tall, thin, wealthy, beautiful, powerful, with a perfect home, a perfect wardrobe, a perfect family life. Sometimes we don't fit all those molds. I hope that you create your own mold, a mold that fits who you are perfectly.

I hope that I can teach you to be independent. One of the things that I've learned recently is that you need to know how to rely on yourself. Sometimes people will let you down, and that can be disappointing. But if you know how to take care of you, you will be so much happier.

On the flipside of that, don't be afraid to ask for help. Your mom is stubborn, and asking for help has always been hard for her. ;) But I've learned over the last year that people do want to help, and I need to let them. So know when you can't do something on your own anymore, and ask for help. If you have spent your life being kind to others, they will line up to give you a hand.

Be consistent. I hope that you don't change yourself for a boy, for a group you want to fit into, or for anyone else. If people don't accept you for what you bring to the table, they aren't worth your time.

Always tell the truth. All lying does is get you into trouble. And people have an easier time picking up on lies than you might think. Life will be so much easier, and it will be easier to gain the trust of others, when you are honest.

Be a good friend, especially once you move away from home. There will come times in your life when you need someone, and I won't be near you. If you've been a good friend to others, they'll be the same in return. Also, on a side note, when you're dating someone, maintain your friendships! It can be easy to forget about friends when you're wrapped up in a relationship, but you will still need those people in your life, I promise. Don't forget about them, and don't let them forget about you.

The biggest thing I want to tell you is that sometimes life doesn't work out exactly how we plan, and that's okay. Your mom has had so many plans that didn't seem to work out quite the way she wanted them to, but she's learning. ;) The biggest thing I've learned is that usually, things work out better than we've planned. We just need to be patient and let everything unfold.

I have so much more that I'm excited to teach you someday, but the things I've mentioned are, in my opinion, the most important. Be kind, be funny, lend a helping hand, and you'll do just fine. If you end up anything like me, it might take you a few bumps in the road to learn these things, but sometimes God just has a way of working on us stubborn ones. When we refuse to learn something, he keeps teaching us until we get the message!

Can't wait until you get here someday.

Love,
Your impatient, stubborn, silly, restless mom

happy birthday, you goober.

This little goober turns 19 today, and it's the first birthday of his life where I won't be able to talk to him. But he deserves to be recognized, because Devin is one amazing little brother, the best of the best, and he's doing some great work on his mission in Tokyo.

I was 5 and a half when Devin was born, and I remember that night clearly. It took a bit of difficulty getting Devin here, and my mom was in the hospital for quite a while before he arrived. In fact, I blame Devin for my traumatizing first day of Kindergarten. Since my mom was in the hospital for most of September, she missed getting me ready for my very first day of school, which meant that my dad had to do my hair. Which meant that I was teased relentlessly that day for having some sort of weird ponytail/braid hybrid going on. Because at 5, you are fully aware of how you look, and you are fully aware that there will be boys in your class that you need to impress. ;) And I'm pretty sure that after that day my dad gave up and slapped a baseball hat on my head for the rest of the month until my mom could take over again.

When Devin was born, he was teeny-tiny. Four pounds is not very big, and that was Devin. Small and helpless, but even then with such a big heart. I remember feeling instantly protective of him once I saw how small he was. I wasn't going to let anyone hurt this little guy, or break that big heart, or cause him any kind of pain. And I'd like to hope that in the last 19 years, I've done that job.

Devin is one of those who, from birth, defies odds. We were told that, because he was so small at birth, and because he had a few health problems before he was delivered, he'd probably be a little slow, a little less active than other kids his age, a little bit smaller. But Devin fought those and turned out to be bright, intelligent, and athletic. He is a quick learner, he isn't afraid to try new challenges, and he can whip anyone on the tennis court or a snowboard or a wakeboard. And get him a piano or a guitar and if you are a teenage girl, I can promise that you will swoon.

Devin is a smiler. He always smiles. When we would make him mad, we'd tease him by saying, "Don't smile, Devin, don't do it..." and eventually he would give up his will to look and act angry and burst into a big ol' grin. In fact, his mission nickname is "Smiley Chorro," or "Elder Smiley." That smile lets people warm up to him pretty quickly, and I can tell you from experience that it's always genuine.  

Devin has a sensitive soul. He empathizes with people, and I believe that's a gift that is only given to a special few. Maybe that comes from being the youngest child and knowing how it feels to be pushed around a little bit {sorry, Dev!}, or maybe it just comes from being special. But wherever it comes from, it's something that I admire about him. When you hurt, you know he's hurting right along with you. I missed most of Devin's important, formative teenage years because I was away at college, but whenever I'd call home and ask how his life was going on {because being 14 has a lot of drama, right?}, he'd instead ask how my rough days were going, and if I cried I could somehow feel him understanding {because being 19 also has a lot of drama, amirite?}.

Devin is a goofball, in the best sense of the word. He's the entertainer, the one who isn't afraid to look like a fool for the sake of cheering people up. I have so many memories of him dancing around the house like a monkey to get a few laughs.

What else about Devin? Oh yeah, Devin's first word was "Sega," as in the video game console. Do you remember those? Every time we turned Sonic the Hedgehog on, a voice would sing, "Seeegaaaa," and Devin picked it up. I'm sure my mom was embarrassed to know that her kid's first word was about video games because her other kids played them too much. But.

Devin also had this mega man crush on Justin Timberlake, back in the N'Sync days. Like, he thought JT was the guy. He would watch N'Sync music videos and learn all the dance moves. I was so proud that my five year old brother favored N'Sync over the Backstreet Boys, because I was a firm supporter of Justin, JC, Lance, Chris, and Joey.

Didn't he turn out to be such a good-looking guy? He's a class act, this one. Devin, I miss you more than you know, I love you more than you think, and I can't wait to see what your two years in Japan will teach you. In the three months that you've been out, I've already seen you grow up, mature, and see what's important. I've seen you care about people and their happiness, and I know there are so many people who will be indebted to you for changing their lives for the better. I know I'm one of them. 

Happy birthday, kid!

a letter to the captain.

Dear Dad,

First off, happy {late} Father's Day! I just want to let you know that I know that I'm the luckiest. Not many can say that. I'm the luckiest because I have a dad who loves me so much, so much more than I deserve. I have a dad who taught me everything I know, and who still teaches me every day. I have a dad who works so hard to provide for me and the rest of my family, who taught me the value of hard work, of saving, and of knowing when to put aside work for fun.

Thank you for never missing a dance recital, a soccer game, or an event that was important to me. Thank you for always making yourself available whenever I need you, and for knowing when to put aside things that were probably more important at the time just to listen to me.

Thank you for teaching me the value of knowing how to throw a baseball and a football, of knowing how to ask questions, of how fun a motorcycle can be. It was always fun to be your little tomboy. And thank you most importantly for teaching me how to diffuse a tough situation with humor. I see your sense of humor come out in me more and more each day and for that I couldn't be happier.

Thank you for teaching me that I can't feel sorry for myself, but to rub some dirt in it and move on. :) It'll eventually get better. Although at the time I always hated when you'd ask something along the lines of, "Well, what are you going to do about it?", I appreciate that that question pushed me.

You're the best of the best, Dad. I love you.

And now, at your request, some of my favorite Alexa/Dad memories:

1. Hundreds of motorcycle rides followed by Slurpees from 7-11

2. When you coached my t-ball and basketball teams

3. Getting the motorcycle stuck in a ditch in Price when I was 7. I thought we were going to die but you knew we wouldn't

4. The Sunday we spent at the SLC cemetery finding as many former presidents of the Church that we could

5. Learning how to drive the truck in a church parking lot and your patience when I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to do it

6. That time you hit me in the head with a baseball and I didn't speak to you for a few hours

7. Practicing our "dip" for weeks before my baptism because I wanted it to be perfect

8. Hours and hours of "The Cosby Show" and "Home Improvement." You will forever be the perfect hybrid of Tim Taylor and Cliff Huxtable

9. The time you read me my BYU acceptance letter over the phone and cried because you knew how hard I worked to be a Cougar

10. Rocking out to Chicago, the Eagles, and Boston. My appreciation for classic rock was influenced directly by you

Love you, Captain.

love letters.

Happy Valentine's Day. This year I'm celebrating without a "valentine," but I don't think you need one to make the day meaningful. Sometimes it catches my breath a little thinking of all the people who I love, who love me right back, even when sometimes it's undeserved.

I have a lot of thoughts on love. I think I've been in it before, and it's beautiful and messy and motivating and scary. I think love makes you want to be the best possible version of you, makes you care more about the well-being of another person than of yourself.

There's so much I could say about love, but today I'm excited about who I'm going to let speak instead. I found a few love letters from some musicians, actors, former presidents, etc., and I think they should be shared.

Johnny Cash to June:

Hey June,

That's really nice, June. You've got a way with words and a way with me as well.

The fire and excitement may be gone now that we don't go out there and sing them anymore, but the ring of fire still burns around you and is keeping our love hotter than a pepper sprout. 

Love, 

John

Happy birthday Princess,

We get old and get used to each other. We think alike. We read each other's minds. We know what the other wants without asking. Sometimes we irritate each other a little bit. Maybe sometimes take each other for granted.

But once in a while, like today, I meditate on it and realize how lucky I am to share my life with the greatest woman I ever met. You still fascinate and inspire me. You influence me for the better. You're the object of my desire, the #1 earthly reason for my existence. I love you very much.

Happy birthday Princess.

John

Ronald Reagan to Nancy:

My Darling Wife,

This note is to warn you of a diabolical plot entered into by some of our so-called friends {ha!}, calendar makers and even our own children. These and others would have you believe we've been married 20 years. 

20 minutes maybe — but never 20 years. In the first place it is a known fact that a human cannot sustain the high level of happiness I feel for more than a few minutes — and my happiness keeps increasing. 

I will confess to one puzzlement but I'm sure it is just some trick perpetrated by our friends {ha again!}. I can't remember ever being without you and I know I was born more than 20 minutes ago.

Oh well — that isn't important. The important thing is I don't want to be without you for the next 20 years, or 40, or however many there are. I've gotten very used to being happy and I love you very much indeed. 

Your husband of 20 something or other. 

Marlon Brando to a stewardess:

Dear Lady,

There is something not quite definable in your face — something lovely, not pretty in a conventionally thought of way. You have something graceful and tender and feminine. You seem to be a woman who has been loved in her childhood, or else, somehow by the mystery of genetic phenomena you have been visited by the gifts of refinement, dignity and poise. Perhaps you cannot be accredited with all that.

Irrespective of your gothic aspects, you have passed something on in terms of your expression, mien and general comportment that is unusual and rewarding. 

It's been a pleasant if brief encounter and I wish you well and I hope we shall have occasion to cross eyes again sometime. 

Best wishes,

Marlon Brando

Jimi Hendrix to a girlfriend:

little girl...

happiness is within you...so unlock the chains from your heart and let yourself grow — 

like the sweet flower you are...

I know the answer —

just spread your wings and set yourself FREE

love to you forever

Jimi Hendrix

Rockwell Kent to his wife Frances:

Frances! I am so lonely I can hardly bear it. As one needs happiness so have I needed love; that is the deepest need of the human spirit. And as I love you utterly, so have you now become the whole world of my spirit. It is beside and beyond anything that you can ever do for me; it lies in what you are, dear love — to me so infinitely lovely that to be near you, to see you, hear you, is now the only happiness, the only life, I know. How long these hours are alone!

Yet is good for me to know the measure of my love and need, that I may at least be brought to so govern myself as never to lose the love and trust that you have given me.

Dear Frances, let us make and keep our love more beautiful than any love has ever been before. 

Forever, dearest one.

Thy 

Rockwell.

Michael Jordan to a high-school girlfriend:

My Dearest Laquette

How are you and your family doing, fine I hope. I am in my Adv. Chemistry class writing you a letter, so that tells you how much I care for you. I decide to write you because I felt that I made you look pretty rotten after the last night. I want to tell you that I am sorry, and hope that you except my apologie. I know that you feelings was hurt whenever I loss my necklace or had it stolen.

I was really happy when you gave me my honest earn money that I won off the bet. I want to thank you for letting me hold your annual. I show it to everyone at school. Everyone think you are a very pretty young lady and I had to agree because it is very true. Please don't let this go to your head {smile}. I sorry to say that I can't go to the game on my birthday because my father is taking the whole basketball team out to eat on my birthday. Please don't be mad because I am trying get down there a week from Feb. 14. If I do get the chance to come please have some activity for us to do together.

I want you to know that my feelings for you has not changed yet {joke}. I am finally getting used to going with a girl much smaller than I. I hope you like my hint. Well I have spent my time very wisely by write to you. I hope you write back soon. Well I must go, the period is almost over. See you next time around, which I hope comes soon. 

With my best love,

Michael J. Jordan

Aren't these the greatest? I love how different people portray love. Ronald Reagan used humor, Jimi Hendrix and his poetry, Johnny Cash and his honesty. I love how sincere each letter is, how much you can tell each writer meant what they said. Even Michael Jordan as a high school student. :)

I hope you all have a great V-Day, and take some time to write a note to someone you care about, will you? 

a little letter to my body.

Dear Body,

Thank you for being a good body. Thank you for being tall, which came in handy when a tiny old lady asked me to reach for something on the top shelf at Smith's this week. Thank you for healing so quickly when I'm sick or when I don't treat you like I should. Thank you for having the endurance to get me where I need to go, and the brainpower to help me figure out what I want to do. Thank you for being so forgiving when today at work I felt lightheaded and shaky and needed to eat and all I could find was a bag of Cheetos.

Thank you for being so forgiving. Sometimes I do stupid things to you {and bruise FAR too easily}, but you are quick to forgive me and get better. Thank you for so far avoiding any extreme health problems. I'm hoping that's something we can continue to avoid together.

Thank you for helping me become more comfortable with you. For years I didn't like my curly/wavy/frizzy/flat brown hair or my Barbara Streisand nose, but I'm learning that they are what make me special. 

Please remember how powerful you feel after a good run or a good yoga class. Don't let shin splints or the tall, skinny blond who masters every hand to big toe pose {or if I want to sound obnoxious, the Utthita Hasta Padangustasana}, and who always seems to stand right in your line of vision, tell you otherwise. Remember the years of dance you trained yourself in, and how you pushed and stretched and leapt to make yourself the best you could be. You can do that again. 

Please remember that you don't handle stress well, so get rid of it. Remember how your face starts to resemble that of a 15 year old boy when you stress. Eliminate it. Remember, body, that you need sleep. A Coke right before bed isn't going to do anything for you except make you grumpy and keep you wide awake until 4am. And don't forget to take your vitamins and drink lots of chocolate milk. They're good for you.  

I'm sorry, body, for some of the wacko diets I've put you through. We never went through anything too crazy together, but I know sometimes you need a cheeseburger instead of a side salad for dinner. And that's completely okay.

I love you, body. Here's to hopefully many more years watching you grow and change.

Love,
Me

big brother.

Dear Tyler,

Happy 27th birthday! I hope it's been a great one. I just wanted to write you a little note letting you know how great I think you are, and how lucky I am to have you as my big brother.

Thank you for being one of the most loyal people I know. Growing up, I've watched you stick up for your friends, for your family members, and even for people you hardly knew. You keep secrets, and you never have anything bad to say about anyone. Those are qualities that I greatly admire. I remember once when one of your high school friends told me that you are an observer, and that's the truth. But it's that quality that allows people to know that you are trustworthy, and that's a pretty rare quality.

You are a great listener, and you understand and empathize with others. You pick up on what people are thinking, what they may be struggling with, or how they feel, and you have this incredible ability to relate to them. I remember when you came home on your weekend nights {I could always hear you from about a mile away when you drove that Jeep} and you would go straight to Mom and Dad's room to tell them what you did. I remember sneaking in and jumping up onto the bed so I could listen to your many social adventures. :) I couldn't wait to be as cool as you {I'm still working on it over here}. 

One of the greatest things you ever did to serve as an example to me was to serve a mission. I'm sure Mom never told you this {because I begged her not to}, but I cried every night for about a month after you left for Brazil. I didn't think it was fair that the people there got to keep you for two years. But once I saw the incredible change it made in your life, and the incredible change you made in the lives of people down there, I decided it was okay that they could have you for a little while. 

Thank you for being the oldest, because you were the guinea pig for Mom and Dad, and I wasn't. I think for that I'll always be indebted to you. :) I'm teasing, I'm pretty sure that you got away with a lot more than I ever did. 

I love you, Ty, and I'm so glad to have you as my brother. Having you here in Provo with me has been the biggest blessing. It's nice having family around. Just keep doing your best in everything you do, because it's nice to have an example in front of me of what I can be. Happy birthday!

Love,

Lex

little sister.

So we wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder. So what?

Dear Whitney,

Today you turn 21, and I can't believe it. I remember when I turned 21 two years ago, and I remember how excited, nervous, and happy I was to finally be "legal" {although don't get too excited. In Mormondom, there's not a whole lot you can do when you reach this blessed birthday}. Turning 21 feels like being thrust into adulthood, and it comes with all sorts of responsibilities. I know you'll be able to handle it though, and I'm excited to watch as you continue figuring out who you are and why you're here. 

Growing up with you was just fun. Yes we fought, and probably too much, and I'll take 51.2% of the blame for it, but the times that stick out the most in my memory were days we spent playing dress up, or playing with our American Girl dolls {I will still never forgive you for having three while I only had one}, or jumping on the trampoline {sorry for breaking your leg}. I'll remember the days we ganged up on Tyler and Devin, the days when we climbed trees in the front yard of our Granite Bay house. When did we get this old?? Can we go back?

I've loved watching you develop your talents. While I was the overly organized, sometimes too uptight one, you were the creative, artsy, free spirit. And still are. Although I think I'm a little less uptight now. But back to you. Thank you for always reminding me that life shouldn't be taken too seriously. Thanks for being silly with me {"chew on that while I chew on this"}, for singing in the car, and for all the weird crazy things we do.

Thank you for being mature when sometimes I'm not, for sending me great scriptures or quotes when I need them most, and for telling me what I need to hear sometimes. If there's anything I admire about you, it's that you don't hold back when something needs to be said. That's something I'm working on.

I hope that you had a great birthday, and I can't wait to see you this weekend. Neither can some of my guy friends. :) I love you, Whitey!! Or Whitster, whichever you prefer. 

Love,

Lex

little brother.

Dear Devin,

In a week you start your new life as a college student at BYU-I. I'm so proud of you! You've worked so hard to get where you are, and I can't wait to hear about your classes, your plans, and your, dare I say...dates. I'm SO excited when, a little over a year from now, you will get your mission call. I've loved watching you admire Tyler for his missionary service, and I know you've been waiting for so long until it's your turn to go. I'm going to call Asia or Africa, okay?

I remember the day you were born, even though I was only a little kid. You had a rough and scary start getting here, but you hung on and decided that you were going to make it. And since then, you have brought so much laughter, sarcasm, and fun to our family. As the lone blondie, I think we all can say you were the cutest out of the four of us, too.

 Your sense of humor continues to make me smile, although we might need to tone down those "get back in the kitchen" jokes. Someday some girl isn't going to realize you're joking and might slap you across the face. :) But you have the ability to snap anyone out of a bad mood with your humor and your smile, and I appreciate and admire that.

Even though I haven't lived at home during most of your teenage years, I've watched you from good ol' Provo, and I'm so proud of everything that you are. You have been such a loyal friend, even when your friends might not have been as nice as they could have been to you. I'm especially grateful for how you have treated the girls you spend time with. You are so patient, respectful, and kind to them. I admire how you drop whatever you are doing to help someone out. And I'm sorry I sometimes took advantage of that while we were growing up! Provo could use a few more guys like you. The girls you date and the girl you someday marry better realize how lucky they are. You hear that, girls? Because if you don't, I'll remind you.

You have always been such a peacemaker, Devin. When Tyler and I or Whitney and I had arguments, you were always there, even as a toddler, to remind us that fighting takes the happiness out of our home. That ability to bring calm to an environment is something that I hope and pray that you hold on to. It'll serve you well as you start a new life with roommates and eventually mission companions.

I admire the passion and enthusiasm you have for life. When you find something you love, you put your entire soul into it. Devin doesn't do anything half-heartedly.

I'm so excited to see you this Thursday, even though it'll just be for a little while. I wish you could come to my graduation, but you'll have much more fun starting classes instead. I can't believe you're a college student. Stop making me feel so old! I love you, Dev, and I'm so grateful for the example of kindness, strength, and humor that you have been to me. Go knock 'em dead.

Love,
Alexa

And now...for some photos.

in which i write a letter.

 

Dear Tomorrow,

Today was one of those days. The kind of day when I want to go home, put on some athletic shorts and crawl into bed, and wait for you to get here. Unfortunately, I couldn’t. Today was the kind of day when I couldn’t seem to find motivation to do much, even though I had quite a bit to do.

I promise, Tomorrow, that I won’t waste you eating pizza that I don’t need (even though the pizza I ate today was delicious) or being lazy. I promise that I’ll spend some time with you at my Pilates class, which I’ve been neglecting for a little while. I’ll spend some time cleaning my room, because I think my floor would like to show its face again.

I promise to serve someone tomorrow. So many people have been so nice to me this week, and I need to do the same for others. So Tomorrow, in my prayers I hope you remind me of someone who needs me. Deal?

In the meantime, thank you, Today, for letting me see a beautiful sunset on my drive home from Salt Lake. Thank you for letting me spend time with my brother, which made me feel just a little bit closer to home. Thank you for playing the song below on my iPhone, because I needed to hear it. It’s going to be my anthem.

Love,

Lex

the end of it all.

I know I promised no more posts about BYU, but this is the last one. But {to me at least} it’s worth it. I took my very last final today, and I didn’t even find out my score. Frankly, I didn’t care! I just wanted to walk out of the Testing Center and end on a high note. So I did just that. And when I got in my car and turned my iPod on, “Everything’s Magic” by Angels and Airwaves was the first song to come on. Coincidence? Definitely not. I feel elated. I’m DONE!

When I got home, I checked the mail and found a nice little surprise. When I was 17 years old, my seminary teacher had us write letters to our future selves, and he would mail them to us whenever we wanted them. I wanted to receive mine at 22. And guess what came in the mail today? That letter. I read it in my car and might have cried a little bit. What a great day for me to receive it.

May 31, 2006

Dear Alexa,

Right now I’m sitting in Seminary, and Brother Davis asked the class to write letters to ourselves that he would send to us in the future. I thought it was a neat assignment, but a bit awkward, too. How do you address a letter to yourself? I want this to be sent to me in 5 years, so hopefully when I receive this, I will be 22. Wow! That seems like so far away.

At the time that I read this letter, I hope to be graduated from BYU, or at least almost done. I don’t know what I want to major in yet, but I know that when the time comes, I will make the right choice. Maybe I’ll be married! That’s a weird thought. If I am married, or if I’m dating someone, who is he? Is he a returned missionary? He better be!

But then again, I could be on a mission! If so, I hope that I’m doing all that I can to bring people to the gospel. I want to share the happiness that I have with others. The Church is the most amazing thing! Whenever I read the Book of Mormon or the Ensign, I feel very strongly that my Heavenly Father knows me personally, and that He loves me. If I have faith in Him, everything will be okay.

If I am struggling with anything when I get this letter, it will be okay! I just have to have faith, and do all that I can to grow closer to the Savior.

I know that you are doing great! I know that you’ve set and achieved every goal. Keep being your possible best. Keep strengthening your testimony. It’s something that you can have for the rest of your life, and beyond.

Never settle for less. If I am married, hopefully it was in the temple, and if I’m not married yet, keep looking toward the temple! It is the only way the reach the Celestial Kingdom, and it is the only way to be sealed to my family.

Just keep hanging in there, and look forward to the future with excitement!

Love, Alexa