christmas is over.

It's amazing how fast it came and went, isn't it? But now it's the 27th, the radio stations have stopped playing "Jingle Bells" and "Silent Night," and life is just back to normal. There are still a few trees up, a few lights still twinkling on some houses, some leftover snow. Today I took the decorations off of my baby white Christmas tree, feeling a little bit sad. There's this sort of magic that only comes with Christmas, and once it's over, that magic dies, too. At least until next year.

I had a beautiful Christmas, did you? On Christmas Eve we were able to Skype with Devin in Tokyo. It was so much fun to hear his voice and see his face! We Skyped using an Xbox, so we could watch on a big screen TV. Isn't technology great? I'm grateful for big brothers who know how to do that kind of thing, because I'm clueless. Look how happy Elder J. looks! He spoke some Japanese for us and man. What a crazy language.

My parents came to Utah this Christmas, so on Christmas Eve we stayed with them at a hotel. I don't know if I've ever woken up and opened gifts in a hotel room on Christmas morning before. It was a little different! The gifts were great {I got a red KitchenAid and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life and thanks Mom and Dad!}, but it was just fun to be with my family.

We ate a Christmas lunch at the Grand America hotel, and holy smokes. Ham and turkey and roast and 7 kinds of potatoes and 20 desserts and the best lemonade I've ever had. If you ever find yourself in Salt Lake City on Christmas, head over there. Seriously, one of the best meals I've ever had. I wish I had pictures of the little desserts, they were so pretty! 

Then we saw the requisite Christmas movie. I picked "Saving Mr. Banks," and it was so good. I could sit and talk about it for hours, but go see it and then we'll chat. You'll come out the theater with some serious feels. "Mary Poppins" has always been my favorite Disney movie, so to see how it came to be was wonderful. And after this movie I'll watch it with a completely different perspective. To Mr. Disney!

That was our Christmas in a nutshell. Quiet, delicious, with plenty of family time. I hope yours was just as wonderful.

Let's have a great 2014, shall we? While 2013 was a good year, I went through some tough things. I'll be honest, about 75% of this year was HARD. But I've been determined to make 2014 something amazing. I hope you're with me on that! I've got some fun things planned. Now go listen to that Carpenter's Christmas album one last time before you put it away, okay?

graduation.

Apparently you're not a Justesen unless you're dressed for a funeral at all times.

Merry Christmas Eve eve! This weekend my little sister Whitney graduated from BYU Idaho. How in the world is she old enough to do that? It was fun to drive up to Idaho and spend some time with my family as we celebrated her huge accomplishment. Whitney is a talented photographer {you can see her work and book her here}, and for her final project she did a piece about the seasons. And they were BEE-AUTIFUL. She had a different model represent each season. My favorite was her Fall segment. Her model had this flaming red hair, and it fit in so well with the autumn-colored leaves. Gah. I wish I was that talented.

Isn't she cute?

I wish my photos were better quality {horrible lighting will do that to you}, but I asked Whit if she'd send me the actual photos she used so I can post them here. 

Congratulations, Whitster! We sure are proud. 

palo alto.

Drumroll please.........

So my big news is that in two weeks, I'm moving to Palo Alto, California! It's funny, that's actually the place I was born in, and for some reason it seems a little bit ironic that I'm going back. But it just feels right, you know?

For a long time I was terrified of leaving Provo, especially of leaving Provo with that one terrifying word attached to me...single. I honestly never thought I'd see that happen. I fought leaving as long as I could, just to see if maybe someone would come along and erase that word from my mental list of my self-perceived flaws. And while I've dated some incredible guys {and some not-so-incredible, as one does}, it became clear to me that maybe he isn't in Provo. Maybe he is somewhere else. And after some time, I came to accept that idea and be okay with it. Maybe I wouldn't have that "fairytale" BYU wedding that you always hear about growing up, the one that I was so sure would happen for me when I entered Helaman Halls six years ago.

And you know what? It's fine. I'm going to be okay. And if you made the leap like I'm about to, you'll be just fine, too.

I've learned that when we're doing what feels right to us, things generally fall into place. I decided a month or so ago that the Bay Area is where I want to be, and everything seemed to take care of itself after that. I found a great house with some great girls, my contract here sold, I've got some potential jobs lined up. For the last year or so I'd been fighting this feeling that NOTHING was working in my favor, so it was so refreshing to see things happen the way I needed them to.

Tonight I went through some things I've saved over my years at BYU and in Provo, and they brought a smile to my face and a few tears to my eyes. Yes, it's been hard, but this chapter of my life has been amazing. I've met some of the best people I know, I gained an invaluable education, I've grown up. Hours and hours of studying for finals, road trips, late night Slurpee runs, all of those memories will be carefully tucked away in a safe corner of my brain, and I'm sure will influence the next part of my life.

So here's to new adventures, in a new place, with a new job, and with new people. And most importantly, here's to warmer weather, am I right?

So folks, I'll try to keep up regular posts here but with Christmas and moving it might be a little tough. But thanks for reading! The comments I get mean the world to me. I always hope that this little space might help someone who feels like no one understands them or gets how they feel, or someone who needs a bit of a laugh. I'll be here for you as much as I can.

Have a very merry, safe, beautiful Christmas!

my views at christmastime.

How is it less than two weeks until Christmas? You know that scene in "The Grinch" where all the Whos are shopping in Whoville, and a voice comes on the loudspeaker letting them know there are only 14 hours until Christmas, and all the little Whos start freaking out? That's how I feel. Not because I haven't gotten shopping done, but because I love Christmas, and with each day we get one day closer to it being here, and one day closer to the whole season being over. It's a little bittersweet.

So I've been doing all that I can to take advantage of this Christmas season. Seeing the lights, watching the movies, trimming the tree, the whole shebang. I don't want December 26 to leave me feeling any regrets. So here are a few of the ways I've been celebrating. What have you been doing?

If Christmas lights could stay up all year, I'd be one happy camper. They just make everything look so much prettier! And those icicles outside my window are about as tall as me. They're beautifully terrifying. Also, how do you like my first Christmas tree? Next year's will be real, I promise. The last photo is just for kicks, my coworker knows how much I dislike Miley.

I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season, wherever you are! And I'm hoping you don't have to deal with snow.

Stay tuned, next week I've got some REALLY exciting news!

Phew. I feel like this post was all one giant sentence, but I got caught up typing and knew I just needed to say something on this blog.

if i could make you a mixed cd round 2.

Doesn't this picture give you the warm Christmas fuzzies? I wish I could claim that this was my house but sadly...no. 

As I do all playlists, I took the task of coming up with this year's Christmas playlist very seriously. People seemed to like the one I made last year, so I decided to make a newer version of some holiday favorites. I hope you enjoy!

1. Very Merry Christmas - Dave Barnes

2. Christmas {Baby Please Come Home} - Michael Bublé

3. O Holy Night - Beta Radio

4. Angels We Have Heard on High - Sufjan Stevens

5. Jingle Bells - Sugar and the Hi-Lows

6. Marshmallow World - Emmy the Great and Tim Wheeler

7. We Need a Little Christmas - AgesandAges

8. Silent Night - Joshua Hyslop

9. Sleigh Ride - Fun.

10. Wonderful Christmastime - The Shins

11. All My Bells Are Ringing - Lenka

12. Cold December Night - Michael Bublé

13. Meet Me at the Mistletoe - Dave Barnes

Now get to decorating that tree, dang it.

iris.

I have two bad day movies. Those movies you pop in when life seems like it's falling down your shoulders, when a tidal wave of crap just seems to keep knocking you down. You know those days, yeah? Today we had our first big snowstorm. The kind where your car gets stuck in a parking spot, one of your windshield wipers breaks, and you spill your dinner and lose just one brand-new earring. Tidal wave, folks.

So I settled in with my two go-to movies, "You've Got Mail" {duh} and "The Holiday." Now if I could, I'd probably take out the Cameron Diaz story, because I relate fully and completely to Iris. She and Kathleen Kelly are my people. The hard workers who seem to be a little bit overlooked. Sometimes I feel like that, especially lately. You know when you feel like maybe you're not reaching your full potential? That's me right now. It's requiring me to make some changes, which is terrifying. But if Iris and Kathleen can do it, so can I.

I've learned recently that I need to surround myself with people who make me feel good about myself, which is something I haven't been doing so much lately. I have great friends, I really do, but some of them make me leave feeling bad about myself. Things are said or done, all in the name of a "joke," that make me feel worthless. I know this and I know how awful it makes me feel, but I don't do anything about it. Why? Maybe I'm being too vague so this doesn't make sense to you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that for the last few months, my confidence level has been pretty low. Maybe at an all-time low, I'm not too sure.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's time for me to make changes. New place, new people, new confidence level. I'm ready to be pushed. I'm ready to be completely happy again.

Anyway, these two clips really stood out to me. Preach, Iris and Joe.


{Please pardon the language. You know Patricia. :) }

parade > turkey.

In my humble opinion, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is the greatest part of Thanksgiving. Every year, without fail, I park myself in front of the TV, sleepy-eyed and still in PJs, and watch as Snoopy, Kermit, Mickey, and many other characters make their way down Central Park West. There's something nostalgic about it, something sort of magical. It's like the holidays are officially being ushered in. And then ohmygosh when Santa Claus closes out the whole thing. When I was a little girl I wouldn't allow anyone to turn off the TV or change the channel to football until I saw Santa. And when I say "little girl" I mean that I still do this every year.

I heard on the news that, with this huge storm on the East Coast, the balloons might not happen tomorrow. Please bless that this isn't true.

The parade has been around for almost 90 years, and I found some vintage photos of the balloons from the 1920s-1940s. Amazing how much they've changed, right? and yet the excitement is still just as strong.

And then the big moment...when Christmas officially begins:

My reaction tends to be something along the lines of this:

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and holiday season. There's quite a bit to be thankful for, huh?